Testimony

I told no one about this; except Willy, Ricky, Edwin, Father Michael, Christina (KBP) and my sister (and also Ling). I don't care anymore what other people will think about me. I don't care anymore in what reputation I am being. I don't care anymore of satisfying others, but not myself. They might be saying "What? Such a very irresponsible leader!". Or maybe it sounds like this, "No heart. Nevermind". - Wah. Such a nice introduction of mine.

If I kept on thinking about what people think about me, I will surely die now. But I took the first step to think and care about myself (which is for sure very hard FOR ME, in the first place, because I don't like to hurt people's heart). And now I understand more about this: take care of yourself.

I told Willy. I will take around 1 week rest, or maybe more, if I'm still weak and need more time. So, I did. More than 2 weeks rest. And I can share a lot of thing what I'm going through during that 2 weeks in rest of serving. And now, I am fully (mostly) recharged. And, ready to serve again. My wine is full, and it taste awesome!  Praise the Lord for that.

At least, if I didn't take the first step to ask for rest, or, if I kept on thinking other people's perception on me, I might be serving with no heart, without the right purpose, and last come to worst, I will might be as one of my friend, who run away from all this thing.

Let me tell you about this friend of mine so that you can have a better picture of it. He served in church. A lot! And for such a long time. People in that church started to depend on him. Every week I saw him serving. He is a very quiet person who didn't talk much and just kept thing inside him. (As do it). Then one day, he tried to ask for rest. But people around him do not care much about the request. They kept on asking him to serve in church. He did. But after he kept the request for such a long time, it built up, and become worse: he ran away. His wine is totally empty. It is tasteless and sour (not in a good way). He run away. And, I heard, he live in not a christian way anymore (not sure about this). He involved in a lot of social issues. And, THIS IS TERRIFYING me. 

Last time, I misjudged him. But now, I understand him. And thanks God because through that experience, I took the right decision to stop serving for a while, and then, come back. I am very sure that people will be misjudging me now. But who cares (yeah)! The most important thing is, I know my purpose of resting and I know what I am doing.

So, really appreciate Willy, Ricky, Edwin and Ling for understanding me. I am the CF President. But, I am a human, normal human being also. Who have my own strength, and my own weakness. Thanks to Father Michael for giving me such inspiring advices, my sister, and Christina.

God Bless.

P/s: huhhhh...terluah segalanya! If you don't understand this topic, nevermind. This is not for you to understand, but at least you know. Take it as a guidance when you are having in the same condition as mine.