Sad. But, relieved!

Can I say that one of the most toughest thing to do in our life is to make a decision? Once you made it, there is no more turning back. About the risks waiting ahead, it is up to you how you gonna handle it with care later.

Since Sunday, my parents asked (actually a bit forcing and urging me) to change my ticket from 12hb to 18hb. I don't want! Because, I don't like to waste money. Next, I'm worry about my study. At home, there is a lot of temptation waiting ahead. I can't study. Exam is just around the corner. I brought my Chemistry and Biology books, but haven't touched yet. Why? I don't have the motivation to study at home. I prefer to relax and 'meditate' here.

But just now, as what I've promise to myself before, the price of the ticket on 18hb dropped! I was thinking, should I? But yet, still I can't decide it clearly. Then, I called my mother and listened to her advices. So, without further thinking, I changed my ticket! Oh my goodness. I'm so so so sad! But after a while, there is something that I've realised, and feel relieved about it.

1. Money is not the matter. We can find/dig for money. But, life and time with you family is much more precious.

2. If I come back on 12, I'm burdening myself to think about the transportation from KLIA to KTT. I'm burdening myself to think about how I'm gonna enter KTT. And, I'm burdening the warden to handle this matter. Basically, I'm burdening a lot of people. (I don't like to burden others. I prefer to carry that burden myself even though I seriously need helps about it. That is me.)

3. I'm torturing myself badly actually. Because of the facts that I have to face through, I have tortured and punished myself by killing the happiness in which I deserve to get in my life. Reality is harder than fantasy!

4. If I come back on 18, I can spend much more time with my family. Especially, with my brother, Melter who is going to sit for his UPSR on 22 September. I do hope that I can bring miracles on him by giving him intensive tuition. He is poor academically. I'm worry about him. I think that I am selfish if I go back on 12, because I just think about my needs, not his needs. I'm sorry brother.

5. My friend, Joeffery, adviced me to just follow what my parents adviced me to do. And, even my elder sister, Marcela, said the same think. Who knows, my parents instinction bring something meaningful? Who knows that maybe something bad gonna happened if I come back on 12? Parents are gifted in this kind of matter. So, it is better for me to just follow their order.

I'm sad actually. But, I feel relieved about it.

Thanks to all my friends who did help me by giving their own opinion about this matter. I really appreciate it! May God bless you all. Take care. Happy Holiday!