(Sunday) Reflection

This morning, during Mass, as usual, I played musics together with Jude. I'm training him to serve musics in Church so that after I finish A-level, the musics won't die there. (That is the reason why I took the courage to make the first step to serve in Church since last year; to bless others with the sounds of musics, praising and worshiping the God almighty).

I'm happy serving God. It brings me peace and joy, even though, it just a simple thing in front of others eyes. After Church, worries came! My study? Oh my goodness. Tomorrow I have Biology Paper 4 and Physics Paper 2. I haven't yet finish revising Biology. Physics? Haven't touch yet! I saw the messiness in me during that time. Stress or under pressure is all that what I can say. I'm emotionally unstable, and fragile. (But, still can cover and pretend that I am okay in front of everybody - my talent to do so by the way).

After taking my lunch, I directly went to sleep! Odoi, boroi la kau! And set my handphone alarm to wake me up at 11.50am (however, can only managed to wake up at 12.30pm!). I took my Biology textbook, and started to read Control, Coordination and Homeostasis chapter. But, huh, I'm boring with that chapter. Then, I opened Selection and Evolution. Okay, this one is much more interesting! But after reading few pages, I've realised that I'm not reading to understand. But, reading just to finish my tasks as I've planned!

I went inside my room. And, sleep! I can't hardly think rationally during that time. Somehow, I blame myself for all the tough roads and ways I have to take. Other people are seem so relax as their journey and life are different as mine. I wish that I can make a turnaround in 180 degrees. Can I? Please??? How childish I am!

I woke up again at 5.04pm. (I slept from 2.07pm). When my eyes opened, the thing that I can only see  during that time is STUDY! No one can describe precisely correct how hard is this for me in such a short time given. People ignore me? I don't care. People saying bad a me? I don't care. And, even if people are arguing about maths outside, I don't care anymore! I have such a very narrow way of vision in that moment. I went to Mamak, bought my dinner, and ate.

However, there is one great thing that came to me during that time. I don't know why, but my right hand suddenly took a small book that I arranged vertically upright at my right corner. It is the Our Daily Bread. I simply opened without first thinking in which page I should read. And, I read;

"July 28; Expert Repair ~ If you've ever tried to fix something and failed, you'll appreciate the sign I saw outside the garage: We Will Fix What Your Husband Fixed. Whether the problem is the car, the plumbing or an appliance, it's usually better off in the hands of someone who is skilled and trustworthy. 

So it is with the sin and the struggles within us that resist our efforts to mend them.

Jeremiah denounced the greedy prophets and priests of his day who 'healed the hurt of [God's] people slightly, saying PEACE, PEACE!' when there is no peace. (Jeremiah 6:14). They could neither change themselves nor lead the people to spiritual transformation. So, the Lord called the people to follow His way: Stand in the ways and see, and ask for the old paths, where the good way is, and walk in it. Then you will find rest for your souls. (v.16) "

The parts of our lives that we have tried and failed to repair can be restored by the hand of God. Through faith in Christ we can be made whole.

Life's fractures can be mended by faith in Christ the Lord.

At first the PAIN, then the GAIN

And usefulness restored! 

During the time, where we find difficulties, somehow we have forgotten the basic thing in our life: GOD. We might called Him "Lord, Lord!" but we never do what He told us to do. Or even to open our eyes to see, and ears to listen Him. We keep on running so that we can finish the thing as soon as possible! But while running, we have actually ignored a few thing around us that is actually can help us to restore, recharge and even to build our self-esteem. At last, we fall down and stumble in the middle of our track before we manage to finish the race.

God Bless.
 

P/S: Actually, I'm not suppose to blog today, as tomorrow is my exam! And, I haven't yet finish my revision. But, I feel the needs to share this important value I've learnt today to all of you; readers!