Sunday, November 2, 2014

What Push People Away From You!

  1. Being envious of everyone else. – Don’t let envy (or jealously) get the best of you.  Envy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  There is nothing attractive or admirable about this behavior.  So stop comparing your journey with everyone else’s.  Your journey is YOUR journey, NOT a competition.  You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself.  You are competing to be the best you can be.  If you want to measure your progress, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
  2. Taking everything too personally. – People are toxic to be around when they believe that everything happening around them is a direct assault on them or is in some way all about them.  The truth is that what people say and do to you is much more about them, than you.  People’s reactions to you are about their perspectives, wounds and experiences.  Whether people think you’re amazing, or believe you’re the worst, again, is more about them.  I’m not suggesting we should be narcissists and ignore all feedback.  I am saying that so much hurt, disappointment and sadness in our lives comes from our taking things personally.  In most cases it’s far more productive and healthy to let go of other people’s good or bad opinion of you, and to operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.  (Read The Four Agreements.)
  3. Acting like you’re always a victim. – Another toxic behavior is persistent complaining that fuels your sense of victimization.  Believing you’re a victim, that you have no power to exert and no power over the direction of your life, is a toxic stance that keeps you stuck.  Working as a life coach with people who have suffered major trauma in their lives but found the courage to turn it all around, I know we all have access to far more power, authority, and influence over our lives than we initially believe.  When you stop complaining, and refuse to see yourself as a helpless victim, you’ll find that you are more powerful than you realized, but only if you choose to accept this reality.
  4. Hoarding pain and loss. – One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go – whether it’s guilt, anger, love or loss.  Change is never easy – you fight to hold on and you fight to let go.  But oftentimes letting go is the healthiest path forward.  It clears out toxic thoughts from the past.  You’ve got to emotionally free yourself from the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you.  Again, it takes hard work to let go and refocus your thoughts, but it’s worth every bit of effort you can muster.
  5. Obsessive negative thinking. – It’s very hard to be around people who refuse to let go of negativity – when they ruminate and speak incessantly about the terrible things that could happen and have happened, the scorns they’ve suffered, and the unfairness of life.  These people stubbornly refuse to see the positive side of life and the positive lessons from what’s happening.  Pessimism is one thing – but remaining perpetually locked in a negative mindset is another.  Only seeing the negative, and operating from a view that everything is negative and against you, is a twisted way of thinking and living, and you can change that.
  6. Lack of emotional self-control. – An inability to manage your emotions is toxic to everyone around you.  We all know these people – those who explode in anger and tears over the smallest hiccup or problem.  Yelling at the grocery store clerk for the long line, screaming at an employee for a small error she made, or losing it with your daughter for spilling juice on the floor.  If you find that you’re overly emotional, losing your cool at every turn, you may need some outside assistance to help you gain control over your emotions and understand what’s at the root of your inner angst.  There’s more to it than what appears on the surface.  An independent perspective – and a new kind of support – can work wonders. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Happiness” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
  7. Making superficial judgments about others. – Don’t always judge a person by what they show you.  Remember, what you’ve seen is oftentimes only what that person has chosen to show you, or what they were driven to show based on their inner stress and pain.  Alas, when another person tries to make you suffer in some small way, it is usually because they suffer deep within themselves.  Their suffering is simply spilling over.  They do not need punishment or ridicule, they need help.  If you can’t help them, let them be.
  8. Cruelty (or lacking empathy and compassion). – One of the most toxic behaviors – cruelty – stems from a total lack of empathy, concern or compassion for others.  We see it every day online and in the media – people being devastatingly unkind and hurtful to others just because they can.  They tear people down online in a cowardly way, using their anonymity as a shield.  Cruelty, backstabbing, and hurting others for any reason is toxic, and it hurts you as well.  If you find yourself backstabbing and tearing someone else down, stop in your tracks.  Dig deep and find compassion in your heart, and realize that we’re all in this together.
  9. Cheating and cutting moral corners simply because you can. – Cheating is a choice, not a mistake, and not an excuse!  If you decide to cheat, and you succeed in cheating someone out of something, don’t think that this person is a fool.  Realize that this person trusted you much more than you ever deserved.  Be bigger than that.  Don’t do immoral things simply because you can.  Don’t cheat.  Be honest with yourself and everyone else.  Do the right thing.  Integrity is the essence of everything successful.
  10. Hiding your truth. – People cannot connect with you if you’re constantly trying to hide from yourself.  And this becomes a truly toxic situation the minute they become attached to your false persona.  So remember, no matter what age, race, sex, or sexuality you are, underneath all your external decorations you are a pure, beautiful being – each and every one of us are.  We each have light to shine, and missions to accomplish.  Celebrate being different, off the beaten path, a little on the weird side, your own special creation.  If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new river to swim in.  But DO NOT change who you are; BE who you are.  Don’t deny yourself, improve yourself.  (Read The Untethered Soul.)
  11. Needing constant validation. – People who constantly strive for validation by others are exhausting to be around.  Those men and women who get caught up in the need to prove their worth over and over and over, and constantly want to win over everyone around them, are unintentionally toxic and draining.  Know this.  Over-attaching to how things have to look to others can wear you out and bring everyone else around you down.  There is a bigger picture to your life, and it’s not about what you achieve in the eyes of the masses.  It’s about the journey, the process, the path – what you’re learning, how you’re helping others learn too, and the growing process you allow yourself to participate in.
  12. Being a stubborn perfectionist. – As human beings, we often chase hypothetical, static states of perfection.  We do so when we are searching for the perfect house, job, friend or lover.  The problem, of course, is that perfection doesn’t exist in a static state.  Because life is a continual journey, constantly evolving and changing.  What is here today is not exactly the same tomorrow – that perfect house, job, friend or lover will eventually fade to a state of imperfection.  But with a little patience and an open mind, over time, that imperfect house evolves into a comfortable home.  That imperfect job evolves into a rewarding career.  That imperfect friend evolves into a steady shoulder to lean on.  And that imperfect lover evolves into a reliable lifelong companion.  It’s just a matter of letting perfectionism GO.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Getting Along

I love being with people...most of the time.
There is a special joy that resonates in our hearts when we are with people we enjoy.
But unfortunately, we are NOT ALWAYS with those we like to be around.

Sometimes, people can be prickly,
which might be why someone has said,
"The more I get to know people, the more I love my dog!"

When we don't find joy in a relationship, we tend to BLAME the other person;
then we EXCUSE ourselves as we exit to be with people we like.

The apostle Paul asks us to lovingly engage with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
In fact, he calls all of us to be "of one accord",
to look out "for the interests of others",
and to let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 2:2-5)

Think about it.

Jesus gave up His own prerogatives and privileges for us;
He chose to live as a servant and paid the ultimate sacrifice that He might bring us into a joy-filled relationship with Him.
And He did all that in spite of our prickliness.

So NEXT TIME you are with someone who is not easy to get along with, ASK JESUS to help you find a way to extend His love. In time, you might be surprised by how God can change your attitude about people.

Lord, thank You that while I was still offensive to You, You saved me with you sacrificial love. Give me the same courage and grace to extend to others the love that You have so graciously extended to me.

P/S: The key to getting along with others is having the same mind of Christ!

Sunday, November 18, 2012


I am sorry for the late updates!
Been busy.

So, what's now?

I think, today, the world is upside down.
They are suffering so much because there is very little love in the homes and in the family life.
We have no time for our children,
We have no time for each other,
And there is no time to enjoy with each other.

Love begins at home.
Love lives at home!
That's why, there is so much suffering and so much unhappiness in the world today.

Everybody seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater development, being rich, and so on.
Children have very little time with their parents.
Parents have little time for each other.
Thus, at home, begiins the distruption of the peace of the world.

More about LOVE:
if you judge people, you have no time to love them.

I tried to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money.
No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand dollars!
Yet, I willingly cure him for the love of God.

I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more LOVE!

I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I do know that when we die, and it is the time for God to judge us,
he will NOT ask: how many good things have you done in your life? Rather he will ask, how much LOVE did you put into what you did?!

Being UNWANTED, UNLOVED AND UNCARED is now forgotten by everybody.
I think, that is a much greater hunger, a much GREATER POVERTY than a person who has nothing to eat.

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted.
There is MORE HUNGER in the world for love and appreciation, than for bread!

We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless.
The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared, is the GREATEST POVERTY!
We must starts in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.

Do not think that love (in order to be genuine) has to be extraordinary.

Everytime you SMILE at someone, it is an ACTION of love, a GIFT to that person, and a BEAUTIFUL thing!

Do not wait for leaders: do it alone, person to person!

Okay, that's all for this time!
Thanks for reading.

 P/S: Inspired by Mother Teresa messages! God bless :)

Saturday, May 12, 2012


Character cannot be developed in ease and quite.
Only through experiences of trials and suffering;
can the soul be strengthened,
vision cleared,
ambition inspired,
and success achieved!

"You gain strength, confidence and fear in the face.
You must do the thing you cannot do!
And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace".

A winner is not one who never fails, but one who never quits.
Winners never quit, Quitters never win!

I'm sure you tried this before; by giving each alphabet a number, a=1, b=2, etc,
if you add up the letters of the alphabet in the word 'attitude' this is the result:

A = 1
T = 20
T = 20
I = 9
T = 20
U = 21
D = 4
E = 5

TOTAL :  100!

Attitude is everything!

P/S: Its Saturday and its is in the month of May! Kotobian om kounsikaan vuhan tagazo do Kaamatan. Have a great day!

Sunday, May 6, 2012


I know this song long time ago; during Sabah Youth Day 2 (Ranau), 2008.
During that time, I was touched, burst into tears and felt blessed!

Thus, I sang this song in Church today!
Had 3 days practice for it since my pianist didn't know much this song.
But, I'm glad because she learnt it very fast!

We rode into town the other day,
Just me and my daddy.
He said I’d finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting,
And so we stopped to find out why.
There was that man that my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes.

So I said, “Daddy why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I’ll bet that crown hurts him more than he shows.
Daddy, please, can’t you do something?
He looks as though he’s gonna cry.
You said he was stronger than all of those guys.
Daddy please tell me why,
Why does everyone want him to die?”

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside.
Somehow he knew things could get stormy.
Boy, was he right! But I could not keep from wonderin’
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out.
I was not afraid of getting lost.
So I followed the crowds to a hill where I knew men
had been killed,
And I heard a voice call from the cross

And he said, “Father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my robe?
This crown of thorns hurts me more than it shows.
Father, please, can’t You do something?
I know that You must hear my cry.
I thought I could handle a cross of this size.
Father remind me why, why does everyone want me to die
Oh, when will I understand why?

My precious Son, I hear them screaming,
and I’m watching the face of the enemy beaming.
But soon I will clothe You in robes of my own.
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know.
But this dark hour I must do  nothing
Though I’ve heard Your unbearable cry.
The pow’r in Your blood destroys all of the lies.
Soon You’ll see past their unmerciful eyes.
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father’s side.
Now I can tell You why,
She is why You must die.

P/S: This song is dedicated to Pastor Koko for all the inspiration, words of wisdom, and for helping me to understand 'why', even though we spent such a very short time serving in Korin Church. God bless your journey! And thanks to my roommate (Akmal) for sacrificing his precious morning sleep just to send me to Church by his bike today.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Something happened!

It takes around 15 minutes duration by cycling.
But just imagine if your bicycle broke in the middle of your way?

You can still walk, maybe takes around 45 minutes to reach your destination.
But, it was a highway.
At night, no lights!
With all the unknown people around you!
And somehow, my local friends here told me that;

"Don't walk alone in the night at a place where there is no one can see you.
If not, either your money will gone,
or you will lose your virginity (if applicable to a guy also!)"

It happened to me today.
My bicycle broke!
I tried to fix it many times, but its still not working.
Its dark somemore, how am I suppose to see which part need to be fixed?

I cried out in my prayer, nothing happen.
Then I decided to walk!

But then, suddenly a guy came, asking me in Kannada Language 'what happen?'.
He offered help, but at first I refused!
(Nanti saya kena rogol! Lelaki sini jangan kau percaya seratus peratus!)
But then, thinking about the risk if I walk which is even higher,
so I accepted his helps.

He send me by his motorbike,
with me (at the back) holding the bicycle at the right side of my arm.
(Can you imagine this?!)

It was imbalance!
And we almost got into an accident!
But thanks God, I reached hostel safely.

Then I realised something,
"Not everyone good, and not everyone bad"

P/S: May God bless that guy! Thanks God!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

I believe!

I wrote a poem.
But not sure whether literately it can be consider as a poem or not.

I feel like sharing this message for those people out there who need this,
Who's having tough time,
Who's having just like what I had gone through before.

There is no such thing that 'bombastic word' used in this poem.
If you are not interested, don't read.


I Believe!
(with Faith, Hope and Love)

I was so down, hopeless, 
and just feel like 'its better if a bus hit me on road badly'!

just feel like the world is all against me.
I want to make a time machine and just go back in time.
If only I can fix the past!

Its hurt, it is really hurt!
And its all about pain, behind that smile.
I cried out loud, but nobody heard.
I screamed for help, but it disappeared, just like an echo in a cave.

Telling myself, "its okay".
But, it is just a temporary word,
which is again will be useless in time. 

I locked myself in room.
I hide myself in society.
I just want to be disappeared.
Not connected to the world.
Not connected to all of them; whom I know.

even though I have been hurt before by those heartless glance,
this also help me to understand that, around me, 
there is still exists some gentle glance.

There is a hope,
There is a love,
If there is a faith!

I will definitely won't run away.
That's what I'll do!
Definitely, always.



This morning,
with heavy and burdened heart,
I came to Church.
I know that, throughout my prayers,
He is listening to me.
Though sometimes, I'm not sure about it.
But today He said, "Come, and I will tell you something"

Then Jesus said,
"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest"
(Matthew 11:28)


The message for today at Church was: 
Taller than the mountain!

"Sometimes, we see miracles in our lives.
But, we can't appreciate it.
Because, we don't have intimacy with God.

The Lord is near to us all the time.
When you face the problems, how do you handle it?
When you stand on it, everything is under you, and you are above all!"

Sometimes, we are tired of something in life!

When we face difficulties, trials, temptations, and problems
keep in mind that you are not alone
You cannot overcome by your power and might; 
only can overcome through Him. 

You should not run away, or keep on hiding.
Come out from the dark cave, stand on the mountain. 
You gonna be higher and lifted by God!

The Lord said,
"Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, 
for the Lord is about to pass by," 
(1 King 19:11)

P/S: Thanks to Pastor Koko (David Yunus Ansar) for the wonderful and beautiful sharing! May He will continue to use you to bless more people; like what I just had today. God bless!

Nobody is perfect

It's a nice quote.


Your past is your past.
It can either colors your future, or make it black and white.
It all your choice by the way.
Either you are grateful,
or regretting every pages of it.

P/S: Off to Church.

Friday, April 27, 2012

It has been a long time!


It has been a long time time without you~~~
Opps, sorry! I posted a song lyric (from Leona Lewis).

Well, what I'm trying to say is; it has been a long time I didn't update this blog!
How come this blog have new settings and features?
I prefer the old version :(((
By the way,
Last post was during Christmas last year!
(Taking this time to wish you guys BELATED New Year, Good Friday, Easter, etc etc)

Erm. I think I'm gonna write more, rather than stalking more in Facebook!
But not now, L.A.T.E.R :)

So, first of all, when I opened this blog,
the first thing that I realized I need to update is; my AGE~!

I thought, I'm still 20! Huhu :(((
So, here it goes;

Though I am 21, but still I feel like:

P/s: Have a nice day, will update AGAIN :)

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas Devotion! Happy Blessed Christmas :)

"Yet, some ppl out there might be loudly crying out. 
They've experienced the loss of loved one, persistent unemployment, a serious illness, or depression that will not go away."
However, for those of us who celebrate the birth of our Saviour, despite the dark night of the soul we may experience, all is well because of Christ. 
We are not alone in our pain. 
God is beside us & promises never to leave. (Heb. 13:5)
He promises that His grace will be sufficient. (2 Cor. 12:9)
He promises to supply our needs. (Phil. 4:19)
Also He promises us the amazing gift of eternal life.  (John 10:27-28)
Happy Blessed Christmas!!
 P/S: Celebrating Christmas at India this year. God bless!