"WAITING is one of the painful moment which I don't really like to be in. While waiting for my A-Level results, I kept on thinking: IF I can't make it, then what should I do?"
My A2 class lecturer (Miss Aifaa) always remind me this: "You gonna be an awesome, versatile, flexible and talented doctor. Please do sing for your patients to cure them emotionally"
Her words always encourage and motivate me to keep on believing in myself. She always slap me with her words! Sometimes it hurts, but that is how it goes. Thanks to Miss Aifaa!
On Friday (3 days before I'll know my A-Level results), the burdens of waiting become heavier each day closer. I tried my best to ignore that feelings. Physically, I did! But, emotionally, I didn't. I can't pretend my own feelings. Then, I shared it with my friends: Gumie and Baxter. Guess what, they become worried too! Huh. Useless sharing, burdening people that is caring.
I lost my confident in singing during my secondary school (primary school, I sang a lot). But, I got back my confident and self-esteem during FESNI (Festival Seni) at KTT last year after I won the singing competition together with Shin Chian (My duet partner). And, that's all because of being FORCED in the first place by Miss Aifaa. (At first, I don't like it. But at the end, I really appreciate it).
Singing at the 5 Stars Hotel last year was actually a NO from me. I don't want to sing and perform at first. But because of Miss Aifaa and the lecturers (not forgotten my friends), I performed for them.
Singing at Church (not in choir, but solo) was totally a new experience in different atmosphere I breathed in. And yea, it raises my confident in singing. Thank you to all of you who involve directly or indirectly in making me believing in myself back one more time.
And I've decided, if I can't make it to be a doctor, I'm gonna sing! I've palnned and actually was waiting for the Akademi Fantasia (AF) audition on 28 January 2011 at Promenade Hotel, Kota Kinabalu Sabah. Trying is better than just giving up.
If not singing, I might be joining a retreat called Retreat Panggilan at Bundu Tuhan. (Like what I've planned in 2008 but was totally against my parents permission). I like serving, giving and helping others. If not physically (doctor) and emotionally (singer), I prefer to be socially and spiritually (seminarians or a priest). Maybe for some people this is a joke from me, but here I'm telling you the truth that this isn't a joke.
However, God is so great! What ever happen to my life, I will just give my best and let God decide the best for me, in according to His will.
So, 24 January had decided that I am going to India to pursue my study in medicine, and will become a doctor. Amen! I'm so grateful with what God had giving me, and I won't give up on that.
What people said about 'we can't bring everything on a plate in one time, so we need to let go off something from it' is truly happened. I gave up my AF audition and the retreat because I don't want to make my situation become completely complicated later. But, I won't be giving up in singing and serving, because I can always do that in my life: to bless and be blessed!
I'm so glad to hear that few of my friends who went for the audition have successfully made it. Congratulation! I hope to see you guys on TV later (if you guys are chosen later).
Lastly in this post, 'Don't give up your dream easily. Do your best, and give your best! So that, at the end, even if you can't make it, you won't regret of any of them because you have successfully be yourself.'